Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands?

If you don’t want to bother reading this whole post, I’ll go ahead and tell you, yes. The answer is yes.

Female submission has become a hot topic in our world today. The modern feminist movement, in my opinion, is hellbent on making women the dominant force in society. The idea of a “traditional” family is now something of a bygone era. Ironically, if a woman chooses to submit to her husband, and wants to be a housewife, she is seen as oppressed. In the same vein, if a man is the head of house, and leads his family as men have in years past, he is seen as controlling or abusive. So who is right? Should we live by the biblically ordained gender roles we’ve been assigned, or should we follow the current trend of modern society?

I make no secret of my views on gender theory. If you’re new here, you might read my other posts;
In Defense of Head Coverings
In Defense of Polygamy
Seeking Ruth, Finding Sophia
A Good Wife
Does He Pray For You
Do You Lead Her To God

It’s seems as though we live in a society of extremes. And, regardless of what end of the sociopolitical spectrum you occupy, you have to be at war with the opposite, whether you want to be or not. The problem for those who support traditionalism is that the vast majority of society no longer does. We’re a long way from Mayberry RFD.

President Joe Biden is being praised for naming Rachel Levine, a trans-woman, as assistant health secretary. At the same time women who adhere to traditional gender roles, commonly referred to as ‘tradwives’, are constantly berated for supporting the patriarchy. If you would like to read one of the articles deriding tradwives, click here.

The issues with gender theory and how it relates to modern society is bothersome, but today my focus is on the issue within the church. As feminism has gradually changed society, it is now changing the church. I’m not going to start talking about why I feel women shouldn’t be pastors or church leaders, that is for another day. Today I’m speaking about relationships.

I want you to think of all of the unmarried church women that you know. If I asked you to count on one hand the number of young women who want to be housewives, how many could you come up with? How many of them want to spend their days cooking, cleaning, rearing children? How many of them pray to find a husband who obeys God like Abraham? Or, who of them dreams of a man who leads people like Moses? Have you heard a young lady say that she hopes to find a suitor who shows her compassion as did Joseph to Mary?

On the other hand I want you to count the number of young women living with their boyfriends(or who might as well be). Most young women today, even in the church, have had enough husbands that they should claim ‘Samaritan‘ as their ethnicity. How many do you know who allow their pridefulness to forsake the life-giving call that lies within their stomach? How many mothers do you see that would have their children be raised by babysitters so that they can focus on their careers? In your counting of each group, which hand filled up first?

So, what does the bible tell us about the way women she act in regard to their husbands? Lets look.

Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. 1 Timothy 2:11-14

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-23

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 1 Peter 3:1-5

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Colossians 3:18

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:3-5

As shown above, there is a clear hierarchy laid out for the structure of Christian households. If you want to go back to the beginning, I would point out that Adam was created, then Eve to be his helper. In Genesis, Sarah referred to Abraham as κύριον (kyrion) in the Greek texts. In most bibles this translates as ‘Lord‘ but can also be rendered as ‘Master,’ ‘Sir,’ or ‘person who has authority.’

So Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “After I am worn out, and my lord is old, shall I have pleasure? Genesis 18:12

as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 1 Peter 3:6

I’m not going to start arguing that women should call their husbands ‘sir.’ (I can already hear the men’s bible study group snickering in my head.) What I am going to bring attention to is the respect for Abraham that Sarah had. She recognized his position in a way not found in many relationships today.

I will point out that I know of some people who sight Galatians chapter three verse twenty-eight to say that men and women are equal in all things. The problem is that isn’t what this verse says. Men and women are equal in their ability to follow and be saved by Jesus. That doesn’t mean they are equal in all ways, nor does it nullify the rest of the bible. Also, using this verse to justify the feminist movement is no different that when people try to use this verse to justify transgenderism. You can’t take one verse out of context and use it to support your own agenda.

I know there are those who argue that I’m a typical sexist man who wants to reinforce outdated gender stereotypes and support the patriarchy. I’m not really interested in making a counter-argument, I just want to point out that I am aware of it. So, yeah…

There are also those who argue that if I had a daughter I wouldn’t want her to submit to her husband the way I describe here and elsewhere in my blog. What if I told you I had a daughter? Would that change the impact of what I’ve said? Are my words not the same? What difference would it make? Would you not expect me to teach her the same biblical principles that I talk to everyone else about? Would all of these things not show her the importance of waiting for a good husband? This leads me to my next point;

If you are an unmarried woman and have reservations about submitting to your prospective husband as found in scripture, why? If you don’t think he is worth submitting to, or he isn’t willing to lead you as he’s called, why are you there in the first place? If you’re hoping that one day he’ll “get there,” you may want to re-evaluate your situation. He should already be “there.” He should be leading you, you shouldn’t be pushing him. If you are married and have the same reservations about submission, why? Does your husband not fulfill his role as a man? Are you prideful about letting him have control? Have you considered how you can help him get to where he needs to be?

The idea of female submission is contrary to the modern idea of female superiority. But, I would point out, that Christians are to be set apart. In the world, but not of it. From the beginning Eve was the helper to Adam, who is to say that we know better than what God ordained in the garden? Today we live in a godless society, that only seems to get darker everyday. But, It is a fool who in his heart who says there is no God.

If you’re going to live a biblical life, that’s what you have to do; Even if you don’t like some parts of it. You have to set yourself apart. People will mock and persecute you. Those who should love you the most will turn on you. Friends will deny you. But, you aren’t alone in all of that. There was a man who all of those things happened to also. He died almost two thousand years ago.
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