A Case Of Hypocrisy: Gay BDSM and Hetero CDD

This one is going to be awkward, I’m just gonna go ahead and say it. Before we get started I want to point out that my primary goal is not to condemn or condone anyone’s behavior, or beliefs. Today my focus is on the Christian bias that exists in our modern culture. To begin, I’ll define our terms so everyone is up to speed;

Gay: Of or relating to same-sex relationships. I.E. Men who have sex with men, and women who have sex with women.

BDSM: A somewhat complicated initialism; Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. I.E. Whips, paddles, leather, and other kinkery.

Hetero: Of or relating to opposite-sex relationships. I.E. Men who have sex with women; Traditional marriage.

CDD: Christian Domestic Discipline. A practice engaged in by a small minority of Christians who believe men should use corporal punishment on their wives when they misbehave. I.E. The picture below.

I would point out that I’m not here to advocate for the practice of Christian Domestic Discipline. There are many blogs for that online, but this isn’t one of them. Many of the ones I have seen appear to be written by single men who have an… unrealistic idea of what marriage is. While I’ve known many childish women whom I have thought needed spanking, I think telling people God calls for such things can easily become problematic. A woman wanting to be spanked for fun is one thing. A woman thinking she should endure whatever physical discipline her husband wants because God tells her to is something totally different. If you want to learn more about it, I wish you well. I would, however, urge you to test everything you read against the word. As far I as I can tell, I don’t see any scriptural basis for CDD, nor have I heard any good biblical based arguments for it. It would seem to me that the only thing “Christian” about “Christian Domestic Discipline” is that those you practice it are people of faith. But, if that’s what you and your spouse are into, have at it. What happens in your bedroom is no more my business than is what happens in mine yours.

As many people as there are who advocate for CDD, you will find ten times as many who disparage it. Many say that it is nothing more than an excuse men can use to control and abuse women. It does need to be said that those who engage in CDD are quick to point out that ‘domestic discipline’ is not the same thing as ‘domestic violence.’ And, while the modern feminist trend is to make men out to be evil at every turn, there are women who actively engage in and advocate for it also.

CDD practitioners face opposition not only in the secular world, but also within the church. Many are quick to label it as ungodly, or heretical. The problem here is that you have to consider that most of us come from different denominations, or traditions. Styles of worship vary from church to church. Who are we to say that what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own home is wrong, especially when it affects no one but themselves? And, when they feel it helps them live a more biblical life as they are called to do, who are we to judge? There is already too much division within the church. Rival congregations have almost turned tearing down their brothers and sisters in Christ into a sport.

Moving on to the main issue I have. Why is there such strong aversion to CDD practiced by heterosexual couples, and not the BDSM practices you often see openly engaged in at pride events? As stated, people who practice CDD do it in the privacy of their own homes. BDSM is practiced by gay people in the streets. I know many who will argue that isn’t the case, but tragically it is.

Why is it acceptable for leather-clad gay men to be walked around on leashes in front of children, but it’s wrong for a straight man to spank his wife in the privacy of their bedroom? Is it because they’re heterosexual, and anything that doesn’t promote the LGBTQA+ community is treated with contempt? Is it because it has ‘Christian’ in the name? The are plenty of straight couples who aren’t religious who engage in BDSM without complaint. Why is it that when it happens within a Christian marriage that it becomes controlling and abusive? Why is it okay for the gay community to expose and encourage children to engage in adult behavior, but Christians are seen as being the detriment of LGBT youth?

Does the fact that the child in the picture above is sexualized by all of the adults around him not seem like it’s more of a problem than a Christian saying something that might hurt his feelings? The way he is dressed isn’t the worst part of this situation. The picture above comes from of video of said child dancing on the street during a pride event. The video has been deemed so inappropriate that I can’t even link to it because it’s been removed from YouTube because of how explicit it is. To give you an idea, LifeSite News describes it as such;

The video, viewed over 270,000 times, shows a young boy clad in nothing but a clinging pair of cut-off jeans gyrating sexually to RuPaul’s song “Sissy That Walk.” At one point he drops to the ground with his legs apart pounding the asphalt with his groin to the beat of the music.

The unidentified boy, thought to be between 8 and 12 years old, was praised by PinkNews for “upset[ting] homophobes” and by GayStarNews for using sexually explicit “dance moves” to “fight homophobia.” GayStarNews has since amended its story after the YouTube restricted video went viral this week when it was picked up by conservative outlets.

Unfortunately, this isn’t an uncommon problem we face in America today. The Washington Examiner and UnHerd have both written about the problem with the rise of “Drag Kids.” What started with people wanting equal treatment under the law, has mutated into something it should never have been allowed to be. Should everyone be treated the same by the government? Yes. Allowing the collective to control the marginalized sets a dangerous precedent. What happens when you become the marginalized? Egalitarianism is what keeps everyone in check.

The issues we face today are not legal, but social. Society is decaying around us, and many people seem to be reveling in it. On one hand, it’s now socially acceptable for the LGBT community to sexualize and extort children. This is not one of the founding principles of the gay community. Every year pride month takes place in June to commemorate the Stonewall riots, which were a response to police abuse. After same-sex marriage was legalized it would seem the gay community ran out of things to protest. Now pride parades are nothing more than an excuse for people to flaunt their sexual fetishes, including those aimed towards children. The documentary ‘Drag Kids’ follows the lives of four children who put on “drag shows” for adults. (Full disclosure, I haven’t watched the documentary, nor do I intend to. I only came to know about it through doing research for this post. I would urge you to avoid it so as no to encourage such things.)

On the other hand, people will be up in arms whenever a heterosexual couple talk about wanting to spice up their sex life. How did we get here? As a church, but as a country also. There was a time when Christians actively fought for decency. Are we asleep? Have we been pushed to a point where we would rather look away and not say anything than face criticism from people whose opinions shouldn’t matter to us anyway? At what point did we decide it was more important to fight amongst ourselves than against the evil sweeping across the nation? Older generations will talk incessantly about how the country is going to hell. How much of that is due to the complacency of the church?

As with many of my other posts, this one has to be cut short. I would love to delve into the complicated world of CDD, and could drone on and on about the crumbling of our society for days. Alas, I never seem to have enough time. Bible school is this week, and the coming days will be filled with many last minute preparations.

Our theme is Noah’s Ark.

I’m anxious to be able to share the word with a group of eager minded young people. This will be a week that some of them will enter a church for the first time. This is an opportunity for them to step out of the world, and learn about the foundation on which a wise man builds his house. As much as I like writing, that to me is far more important, and much more deserving of my time.

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2 thoughts on “A Case Of Hypocrisy: Gay BDSM and Hetero CDD

  1. Wow. I was not aware of CDD. The idea that it is still prevalent blows my mind. I 100 percent believe their is possible hypocrisy. What a great article you have written.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. k…there is a lot for me to unpack here and I’d like to share my take on it. Under no way shape or form do I condone sexualizing children. Period. The picture was disturbing to me, however I don’t think that means that all children who go to Pride festivals or parades are sexualized.
    I have never heard of Christian Domestic Discipline before. Ever. Something new to me. For me, as someone who is quite liberal I wonder about consent and explicit communication here. Is CDD something that both parties fully agree to and one or the other can pull the plug on it? There is an awful lot of communication done in the bdsm world. And to me, CDD seems something that traditional husband inflicts on his wife by way of punishment, no ifs ands or buts. Not something that is mutually agreed upon or communicated about. So for me, that’s the issue.
    That being said suppose they both believe that this is what should be enforced based on what the bible says…well I guess so. But what if the wife or husband no longer agree to it? Is this what God truly wants? I would say no….but that depends on what you personally believe.
    Karla

    Like

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